Why did Moses seem so reluctant to go back to Egypt. Was it because he had a past and he was afraid it would haunt him in Egypt? Moses needed to be reminded that no matter how sordid his past or how great his limitations, if God called him to do something, he could not and would not fail!
Dear Downers Church Family:
“I definitely don’t want kids!” This is a statement I would have said 15 years ago. It was an honest statement. Before I started dating my “future” wife, I knew that I didn’t want children of my own. There was a time in my life, after my conversion and when I started thinking more seriously about marriage, I only looked to date someone who also wanted no kids. Why would I date someone who wanted kids? What if we actually fell in love and considered marriage? It would be better for my girlfriend and me to get this “no kids” idea out of the way before feelings were involved.
How did I arrive at this decision to have zero kids? First of all, I want everyone to know that I love my parents and am very thankful for all that they have done for me. I would not be the man I am without their guidance. But I will also say that growing up in our household was not always easy. My father, as he now admits, had a terrible temper. At several occasions he broke furniture and items within the house. He had put his fist through the wall. The way he “disciplined” us would today be considered abusive. I was afraid of my dad. I loved it when he was at work and walked on egg shells when he was home. My dad has recounted to me a time that he overheard my jubilant response to my sister when she told me that my dad needed to go into work.
What does this have to do with having kids? I remember learning in high school and college that many of our characteristics come from our parents. If our parents were mild, then we were mild. If our parents had bad tempers, then we would have bad tempers. If our parents were abusive, then we would be abusive. I knew that I would be just like my dad, and I didn’t want to affect my kids in the same way. And in addition to that, I had a past. I was not always committed to Jesus Christ and I lived like I hadn’t committed my life to Him. Overall, I was destined to fail as a parent.
Ironically, it was my dad that convinced me that my past (family and decisions) did not determine my future as a parent. By this time his life had totally been transformed by Jesus, and he reminded me of it. In addition, he said it would not be fair to impose my desires to not have kids on another person. Love doesn’t work like that. So, when it came to the point that Anna and I started dating, I knew that it was her desire to have two kids…and I was okay with that. I realized that if God was in the middle of our marriage and family, He could make me into a good parent.
I wonder if this is similar to why Moses seems so reluctant to go back to Egypt. He had a past and he was afraid it would haunt him in Egypt. Moses needed to be reminded that no matter how sordid his past or how great his limitations, if He has called him to do something, he could not and would not fail!